On Unforeseen Awkwardnesses.....

I was invited for drinks for my birthday the other day (I know, I know, enough already, how much can one person milk out of one birthday? Bear with me.) by a dear friend who happens to be a film acting teacher. He asked if I wanted to audit his class and then we'd go for drinks afterwards. As a former, ex, once-upon-a-time-ago actor, I said, "Sure", not sure of what I would find, as believe me, there is nothing worse than being stuck in a room full of bad actors. Alright, maybe bad opera singers and bad interpretive dancers are worse, but bad acting comes close. Well, the actors were fine, not all good, not all bad, some quite swell in fact, and fortunately, nobody gave a good goddamn about my opinion, so it didn't matter what I thought anyway. But that isn't what this missal was about.

I got to the appointed place at the appointed time, and met up with my friend, and chatted a bit, and sat down politely and watched as the actors came in, some vying for some hidden spotlight, some sitting right down with their scene partner and rehearsing for their scene, and others showing up late.

So I was sitting there in the corner when I looked up at one young actor as he came in. Oh my God. Him. Him, but I can't remember his name because I was drunk and he was drunk and it was maybe five years ago or less and will he recognize me and there's nowhere to hide oh my God this is so mortifying, but wait my hair is longer now, and he may not remember he was pretty drunk, but oh he's got rid of his braces, his teeth ARE rather nice after all, but why do I have this bad feeling about him, and dear God will he recognize me? WELL. You can breathe now. Eventually I did, because if he did recognize me, he didn't let on, and I sat there and watched the rest of the class. Afterwards, I was waiting for my friend, praying we could get out before anyone said anything, or introductions were made (another friend of his, an agent and a very dear man had shown up to watch as well) and it turned out the agent was the young actor's agent as well. And it turned out they were going to join my friend and I for drinks! How delightful!!!

(At this point I wondered if I was going to faint. But then I remembered, I only faint at the sight of livestock being born. But I digress...)

So we went out for drinks, and it was at this point, I was suddenly very grateful to be with two talkative showbiz types, because they mercifully didn't shut up all night. Which was great, because a)they were wonderful raconteurs and b) it meant I wouldn't have to do much more than keep asking questions. The young actor (sitting beside me, perhaps so that he wouldn't have to face me) was quite quiet as well. Funnily enough, it didn't turn out to be as awkward as I thought it would be. There was no awkwardness in fact, it was just never addressed. I might have muttered a few comments about the conversation in the young man's general direction, but never anything to open up the conversational floodgate. What could I have said anyhow? "Hi, you might not remember me, but you had your tongue down my throat in a crowded lesbian bar about five years ago. How's tricks?"

I hardly think so.

Nevertheless, sometimes awkwardness can be avoided, you just have to play it by ear, and hope to God you have some very talkative theatricals around.

Oh, and the young man's acting? First rate. And he was good on camera too.